Scathingly briliant.

OH YES SHE DID!
Yes, I did that. I skipped 10 days or so of this huge thing that I challenged you all to do. And no I didn’t go back and fill in the missing days. And to make it worse, I’m skipping today’s and tomorrow’s and going directly to Sunday’s letter, in advance, because this letter will sort of tell you what’s been keeping me too busy to participate.

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DAY 25 – a letter to the person I know is going through the worst of times.

My dear beautiful daughter Julie,

So. Your husband says it’s over. He kicked you out of your home, he kept the car, he kept the kid, he kept everything. He made you leave with nothing. Oh sure, you can have Ethan on weekends, and you can have him back full time when you get on your feet – when you save the money for a car, an apartment, furniture etc…. whatever money is left after giving him money to help with Ethan. Geeeeee. How generous of the dirty bastard.

Juju, I can’t believe this has happened. I really am stunned. Just last month Sara and I were talking about you and Brandon. We were saying how perfect you were for each other, how well you balance each other out.

Honey, this will be the hardest thing you’ve ever had to go through in your nearly 26 years on this earth. There will probably be harder things than this in the future, but as of now, this is going to be the hardest. And for Ethan, it will be even harder. But I’m telling you, you can do this. Yes, you CAN be independent, you can be a single mother, and you can and will have Ethan more than 2 days per week. And more than anything, you WILL be happy again. I speak from experience. You know that for the first 2 years of your life, I was a single working mother. I didn’t get to see you much because I had to work 2 jobs. You won’t get to see Ethan much because of your crazy night job, which you now have to keep because it’s the only place you can make enough money to raise him. It was hard for me, but I did it and you survived and so did I. It will be even harder for you for a little while than it was for me. At least my heart wasn’t broken.

Just know that I will be here for you, for whatever you need. Also know that you are not a burden on me in anyway.

Love,
Mom

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Man, there’s a whole list of people I’ve drifted away from. This girl affected me the most, though:

Dear Jeannie,

Dang girl! Why did you move to Texas? Oh yeah, to marry that guy, your third husband, I think? That didn’t last long, did it? But you stayed there in Texas. We could have both done better at staying in touch. Now it’s been so long since we talked I don’t even recall what town you moved to. Jose has stayed in touch with you occasionally, though, by phone, and he gives me updates from time to time. We keep talking about making a road trip together to see you, maybe even finding Shelly to tag-a-long, since that’s what she always did back in the day. But really, you know how life is, how would we all find a free weekend at the same time? Jose and I rarely find one day off work together as it is, and we live 20 minutes apart.

I remember very well the day we met. The 2nd week of 11th grade. You had transferred from one of your classes to one of mine. It was 3rd period. Earlier that day, after being picked on for the millionth time and finally successfully standing up for myself for the first time, I had already decided that I did not have any plans to return to school after that day. So there we are sitting right next to each other in class. I looked at you and thought “Where did that girl come from?” You looked at me and crossed your eyes at me and I laughed. All I could think of for the rest of class was leaving. When the bell rang for the end of the class, we both stood up and you spoke to me for the first time. “Do you want to skip the rest of the day with me?” You read my mind. “OK” was all I said, so we left. You said you were going over to a friend’s house that I should meet. So we walked for about 2 miles to a tiny garage apartment where there was already a party going on at 1:00 in the afternoon. And so I met your friend, Jose. By the time Jose started talking to me, I had already smoked so much pot that I had lost my ability to speak. So after him talking to me for what seemed like an hour without any response from me, he asked me “What was your name again?” and all I could say was “Muh.” To this day, sometimes when he calls me and I answer the phone, he says “Hello is this Muh? Muh? Muh?”

And apparently we exchanged phone numbers, because you called me after school the next day and asked why I wasn’t there. I told you I was dropping out, and you said “then so am I.” We were SO STUPID, Jeannie!

Within a month, the three of us were moved into your mom’s house after she moved in with her new husband. Before long we had also taken in Shelly, poor little 15-year old Shelly who’s parents left her “in the care of friends” while they moved to New Orleans to work for Jimmy Swaggert. So began the craziest two years of my life. Four teenagers living alone, what else were we expected to do but party?

We grew up and had kids and for awhile remained the best of friends. I honestly thought we would grow old together, still the best of friends. I’m sad things didn’t work out that way.

When you moved to Texas, got married, and got divorced (again) you decided to go to college…. for the next SIXTEEN YEARS. Jose tells me now that you have 3 different degrees, two of which you never used. You’re a psychiatrist now. Wait, what? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? I always knew you needed one, but if someone had told me 30 years ago that you’d be one someday, I would have laughed until my sides hurt. I’m proud of you, though, Jeannie.

I should get your number from Jose and call you. Or maybe you should get my number and call me. I don’t know…. it might be kind of awkward now, huh?

Most days go by and I never think of you. Some days I miss you so much I cry.

Mel

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Sorry in advance for this outburst:

Dear almost everyone I went to high school with.

You made fun of me every day. Constantly. All day. Every day.
I dropped out of high-school because of you. I seriously could not handle it anymore. And that’s a shame, because I was one of the few who were actually there to learn.

Those of you who bullied me the worst, I’ve seen on Facebook, lately.
I haven’t talked to you, but it looks like most of you didn’t benefit much from that popularity contest you were always in back in high-school. And cute little cheerleader Pam who got a kick out of making people laugh with you AT me? I saw you working as a cashier at the grocery store the other day. You didn’t recognize me, but I knew who you were.

I hope you taught your children better than yours taught you. Seriously.

I’m doing fine, by the way. In spite of you.

Melody

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Yes, I’m a day late.

This is a hard one to write. I think I should expand on it and mail it to her.

Dear daughter Julie.

My first-born! Your work hours and my work hours are opposite. So are your sleeping hours and mine. And you live too far away from me! Oh I know it’s only a 40 minute drive, but next door would be so much better.
Usually when I go to your house to pick up Ethan every other weekend, you’re at work. And usually when Brandon comes to pick him up, you’re at home asleep.
For a long time, I’ve been wanting to talk to you in private about some things you and I need to clear up with each other. I want you to get it all out. Whatever you think I’ve done wrong, tell me. Say it, scream it, whatever… I’ll take it. But that time alone with you never happens, so when I do get to see you, no matter how many other people are around, I hug you and tell you I love you, but sometimes I don’t think you believe me. I just want this awkwardness to be over. I want you to feel like my home is always your home, anytime you need it. I want you to call me when you need to be comforted. I want to be your MOM.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love always no matter what,
Mom

I get a lot of work email. A lot of mass-emails sent to the entire company mixed with a lot of media and press releases sent to just some of us.

Most of you know that one of my dogs just died. You also know that I now, STILL, have 5 dogs. And you know I have a soft-spot for dogs in need of a home. Obviously.

Just now in my work email, someone at work sent out a photo of a gorgeous Australian Shepherd in need of a good home. Before I saw the photo, I though, “No thanks, already have too many dogs.” Then I saw the picture and thought, “OHHH HOW PRETTY!!! MOMMY LOVES!”

Then, the very next email in my box, I swear it, THE next one, started with “Animal Hoarding: Identifying the Disease”