Scathingly briliant.

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YEP, I got WAY behind on these… Sorry!

Dear Grandma Holloway:

Thank you for all the great summers you let me stay at your home. Being the youngest of 5 kids, I was often overlooked, so spending an entire month each summer without them was great. It meant I got all of the attention.

These are the things that I remember the most about you:

- Your food was the best food ever, and anytime you were cooking, you were smoking a cigarette. It seems like you never flipped your ashes. There would be this long bunch of ashes on the end of your cigarette sort of hovering over whatever you were cooking. I watched with intensity just knowing those ashes would drop into the food but they never did. They never fell until you bent over the trash can. I thought you were magic.

- You had a salt & pepper shaker collection that filled your entire pantry. You kept your food in the cabinets because the pantry was full of those shakers in all shapes and sizes… they looked more like figurines. I used to move them all around because I was scared I would miss seeing one of them hidden behind others. Last month I was in a flea market and saw a basset-hound salt and pepper shaker set. So begins my collection.

- There was one spot in the pantry that was not covered by a salt/pepper shaker. It was covered by a glass bowl, instead, that was filled with quarters. Every day you let me get a handful of quarters and go to the little store down the street and get candy.

- You were always smiling. Every time I glanced at you, you were looking at me smiling.

- You and Grandpa lived in the projects, but back then, the projects were not all that bad. Especially your apartment. You had such a nice tiny little yard, you were always out there gardening, wearing a house-dress.

I stopped spending my summers with you when I became interested in boys. In fact, I was with a boy when my sister told me you were dead. I was 15 and in our back yard with my boyfriend when I heard some loud crying in the house. Julie came out the back door and said “Come inside. Grandma’s dead.” You were 62 and died of heart disease.

Years later, Julie (she knew more than me because she’s 7 years older) told me that you were always happy to have me there because it meant a month straight that Grandpa would leave you alone. She said that he abused you, all the time. I was so shocked to learn that, because I had never even heard him raise his voice, and he was always nice to me. In fact, years later, the last words he ever spoke were to me. In fact, Grandma, the day your husband died, my first daughter was born. It’s a good thing Julie didn’t tell me how Grandpa treated you until after he was dead, because otherwise I may have hated him and never spoken to him again.

Anyway, I’m sorry you had such a hard life. Thank you for making mine better.

I miss you much,
Melody Starr

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It was so hard for me to pick which of my 4 siblings to write to. Here goes nuthin:

Dear Wayne,

My first thought was to write to Julie, since she’s my only sister and I’m closest to her, and because of our age difference, she played a large part in raising me.

But I have to chose you because you’re the oldest and because 3 years ago, after a new “experimental” year-long treatment of daily interferon injections to regenerate the cells in your diseased liver, you were told that approximately 5 years were added to your life, when you were definitely on death’s door before the treatments. So IF they’re right, we may only have a couple of years left with you.

You are almost 10 years older than me. So when you started drinking heavily at the age of 15, I was only 5. You never stopped drinking until you were hospitalized and they told you would be dead within a month “unless…” This means that for most of my life, you were either drunk, or on the way to being drunk. This did NOT make you a bad brother. Au Contraire! You have been an awesome brother. It also didn’t hinder your ability to be a hard-working money-making fool, at least not until you got sick.

You’re a small man and most of your life you had to defend yourself in the rough neighborhoods we lived in, and you always succeeded there. So much so that you had a reputation and people were scared of you. I remember one time you got into a street fight and the other guy hit you in the forehead with a hammer, you actually had a bit of a hole in your forehead… then you put him in the hospital. You came into the house and mom saw you and screamed and fell down from the shock of the hole in your head and the blood covering your face and shirt, and you simply said “SOMEONE HELP MOM” and went and cleaned up and used a regular bandage. You still have a U shaped scar on your forehead. That amazed me. (Most of your life has amazed me. You, sir, have been on stage with B.B. King, at his invitation. how cool are you?)

You always had my back, even when I didn’t want you to. I wonder if you remember this: One day when I was 14, you walked into “Tonya’s and Eddie’s Game Room” four blocks from our house, and you saw me sitting on a dude’s lap in a chair by the jukebox. That dude was probably about 20 years old, and he was muscular, bad-ass looking, and twice your size. That guy, he knew who you were. What he did not know was that I was your baby sister. You walked in, saw me there on his lap, and stormed up to us and said “THAT IS MY SISTER AND SHE IS 14.” This Goliath (compared to you) literally threw me off of his lap and jumped up and started backing away with his hands up saying “I’m sorry Wayne! I didn’t know!” You then grabbed me by my ear and pulled me all the way home like that with me yelling the whole time. Then you gave me a strong tongue-lashing and banned me from that place. I was mad at you then, but now I thank you.

When I was 19 and found myself being a single parent to Julie (Julie number 2), with no high-school diploma, even, you began watching out for my baby, too. You also were a single parent at that time and had custody of Crystal. Every time you bought clothes for Crystal, you bought them for Julie. You brought me a bag of diapers every week. Every time you took Crystal to the park or anywhere fun, you came and got me and Julie. One time you even showed up out of the blue with a new dress for Julie and said “Come on, we’re going to have Julie’s pictures made, I’m paying.” My baby girl had everything she ever needed because of you, until I got married.

So drunk or not, you were definitely always my protector and often my provider. I cannot thank you enough.

So now, as you sit at home unable to work, getting sick from time to time, with no car and no way to provide for yourself, please, please, please, do not even think about feeling bad about the times when I come and get you and bring you here for a week or a few days every month because you’re going stir-crazy sitting at home alone, or when I swing by after work to give you some money and take you to the store. It’s so little for me to do, it will never be enough to repay you. I want to do these things. I want to help you as much as I am able. Stop feeling guilty about it.

I love you so much, and if your liver causes you to go before I do, it’s going to tear me to pieces and I’ll never get over it.

Your baby sister,
Mel

I didn’t go all out for Memorial Day. I didn’t invite hordes of people and cook tons of food. It was an interesting and fun day, nonetheless.

I invited my daughter Julie and her family. I also invited my nephew Chris and his family.

I didn’t plan to invite anyone or do anything today, but I was talking to my nephew Chris on facebook the other day about the possibility of him meeting his biological father. (Warning, here comes a story within a story, bear with.)

Chris is 35 and has never met his father. The man was a deadbeat dad, to say the least. He didn’t even know Chris existed until Chris was 4 years old, then he wanted nothing to do with him. This guy, the “dad,” has kids all over town, it’s been rumored. So Chris mostly wants to find about about the siblings that probably exist. So he thinks he’s found an in-law of the father and is waiting to hear back from her.

Chris is only 10 years younger than me and we were pretty much raised in the same household. He actually calls my dad “Dad.” He sometimes refers to me as “Aunt Sister” instead of “Aunt Mel” like my other nephews and nieces. I rarely get to see him though, as he is now busy with his own 4 kids.

Ok, ok, I digress…

I told Chris on facebook to come out to the country and see me. Bring all your kids, I said. And he replied with “Memorial Day?” So I said SURE! Then invited my daughter Julie and family since she rarely sees her cousin Chris, and Chris has 3 boys that Ethan would love to play with, or so I thought…. he actually took to the little girl, Vera, who’s 4.

So this morning, Sara and I got up to prepare for the little cookout. Guess what isn’t working? THE GRILL. Mike says the regulator is broken or messed up or something… I don’t know, that’s guy stuff. So Mike leaves and goes to work for half a day, Sara gets on the internet and says that there’s a garage sale today not far from us and they’re advertising that they have a good used grill for 10 bucks. So we jump in the mommy-mobile and head that way. We bought the grill. We also bought some nice leather furniture (LOL) and a wicker chair for Sara’s room. I’ve been looking for replacements for my worn-down furniture for awhile now. So I called Mike and talked him into going to pick it up on his way home. Oh boy, did he love me for that! So much moaning and groaning!

So Julie and Ethan showed up at 11-ish (her husband Brandon has a broken rib and opted to stay home). Right after she showed up, Mike called me and said he was at the house where the furniture was, and only the sofa would fit in his truck, so I had to run back down there and put the FABULOUS OVERSIZED OVER-STUFFED MOST COMFORTABLE LEATHER RECLINER IN THE WORLD!!!!! into the back of my mini-van (with backseat of said van removed). By the way, I’m sitting in that chair as we speak.
We got back home with the furniture, then Chris and his 4 kids showed up soon after. Mike also had bought a new regulator for the old grill, not knowing we bought a temporary replacement at the same garage sale. So we now have two perfectly fine grills on our front deck.

We cooked the usual memorial day stuff, burgers, hot dogs, bratwursts, potato salad, that kind of thing. The younger kids had water-balloon fights. The older cousins (Julie, Sara, Chris and Chris’ 14 year-old Austin) all hung out and caught up and also played some. Ethan stuck to Vera like glue and badly wanted to take her home. Mike played with the little ones all day. The dogs were wondering what the hell had happened to their quiet home and pretty much tried to stay out of the way. And before everyone left, Chris helped Mike move the semi-new furniture out of the truck and van.

And speaking of dogs… being with family today really helped keep my mind off of losing my poor wiener-dog Oscar just two days ago. Oscar was only 11 years old, but he had cancer and was getting sicker by the day, lately. Within the last week he had stopped eating and was confused and obviously suffering, so we had to put him out of his misery. But this evening, Mike was preparing the dogs’ dinner (It has to be done just so, according to him). He puts the food into the bowls then calls them all by name to the front yard… and today he had forgotten temporarily that Oscar was no longer with us, and he called for Oscar. and Sara and I said AWWWW and made a sad face. I’ll miss that dog.

Everyone is gone now and the house is back in order. I’m really tired. A good tired.

How was your day?

And Diane? Where the hell are you, now?

What to say about John. Hmmm. He can be the sweetest thing on earth occasionally as when he did this and then he can do things like wreck his dad’s truck while we’re on vacation in Yellowstone and try to tell the cops someone hit it parked in the driveway and end up doing 22 days in county for making a false police report. He was more afraid of Dad than the cops. LOL He is also a very talented artist. Won first place at state his senior year in high school.

After the wrecked truck incident, which happened while he was supposed to be keeping an eye on things, feeding the dog etc. Dad kicked him out of the house. He floated around from place to place and finally ended up getting a job setting up and tearing down for events in Houston. He did Tom Petty, ZZ Topps, WWF etc. but it only paid ten bucks an hour and only on weekends and then not EVERY weekend. He ended up with no place to go and I finally convinced his dad to let him back in the house but under the condition of he had one month to find a decent job. I forgot to mention he tried every branch of the military but he had a Class B misdemeanor for something that happened at school his junior year and involved the cussing out of a teacher so they wouldn’t take him because of the Class B.

Three weeks had passed and he was coming up on his last week of dad’s deadline when I saw a Job Corps commercial on the History Channel. I saw that and thought WOW this would be perfect for him except for the fact it’s for mostly underprivileged kids from ethnic backgrounds not of the white variety and his dad makes a hell of a lot more money than would fit us into that group. Fortunately though he is 22 so stands on his own as an individual which I found out when I made the first call. They told me to call another number for the local counselor and someone would get back with me. One week, no return calls and the message on the answering machine said they’d get back within 24 hours. I called the head Job Corps joint and wouldn’t you know it after that conversation we got an email right away. This was on a Thursday. Friday he had his first orientation meeting and the following Monday we had to drive into Houston for a second meeting and from that meeting they arranged to send him to the local center which is in San Marcos. That trip was Wednesday. Friday he had a final interview so within a week all was arranged. He was put on a waiting list and we were told it would be about ten weeks before he would go up as he is going to study to be an electrician and that was one of the shortest waiting lists. TEN WEEKS short? Not when you have a kid you’re worried about keeping out of trouble. Well the facts of life finally hit this kid and he pretty much realized that this was a golden opportunity and probably one of his last. I mean we sent the kid to college and told him if he did well the first semester all would be well and he flunked all of his classes except sculpture (of course) and not because he’s stupid, but because he didn’t go. So Dad says to hell with more tuition with that type of attitude so trust me when I say, this was a last chance.

Two weeks after we’d been told ten weeks we got an email that his number was up and he would be leaving in ten days. TUESDAY THE 26th. They’re given a UA when they get there and even if they test dirty they are then put in a 45 day program and at the end of that program are re-tested and as long as they are clean no problemo from there on out UNLESS they flunk a random. SO I think he has finally found his opportunity in life. This place is run by the Department of Labor and is considered Federal grounds so there is no leeway here. It’s all very structured and that is exactly what he needs. They aren’t even allowed to leave the campus for the first three weeks and when they do leave on a weekend they have to have a pass and if they don’t come back on time they’re considered AWOL. This is a very strict learning regimen but I think it’s exactly what he needs.

Not only that but they pay for everything. Transportation to and from, which includes two weeks home in summer, and two weeks home at Christmas. They also give them $25 every two weeks and take them into WalMart so they can buy personal hygiene necessities. After three months they up that to $50. They supply uniforms for their chosen trade, books, the whole shebang. Free medical, dental and optical. They give Driver’s Ed classes and get them their license. Teach them to do job interviews, write resumes etc.

I know there have been a lot of bad things said about the Job Corps program but for a kid like John who really wants to become a productive member of society this is an excellent opportunity and I couldn’t be happier for him. I’m not allowed to call him or anything but he can text and call during meals and at bedtime and I talked to him yesterday and he seemed genuinely happy to be there. I texted him last night and told him if anyone stole his damn phone that he needed to let me know right away so I could have it cut off and he replied with this-

I love you both very much and I think this is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me and I love you both.

LOL So keep your fingers crossed for me and for him.

I’m pretty busy, too.
At work, the third person on the overnight crew has left us. This means, A. We have to hire yet another person, and B. The first two wire hired to replace the first two who quit are not near ready to work on their own, and C. I will be going back to third shift starting tonight, which is much sooner than I had thought, until all three new people are fully trained. This could take a month or more, and I may not get one day off before I go back to days. So much for using that new office.

But for today, I AM FREE! So I’m going to pick up Ethan and take him to Chuck E. Cheese and hope it doesn’t scare him, like I’ve seen with some other 2-year-olds in the past. Years ago, when it was called SHOWTIME pizza, I and 5 other adults accidentally left one of the 15 children we had with us there. Don’t judge me. We didn’t get far before we realized it, and went back in a panic to find her playing happily in the balls.